Academic OB/GYN

Some Cancer Humor

I saw a patient today who presented with a large vaginal cancer.  I was discussing her care with my intern, and that it would make a big difference if the cancer were localized or if it had already spread to the lymph nodes.  Based on her exam, I thought there was a pretty good chance it had already spread.

“The toothpaste is already out of the tube”, said the intern.

I replied “I suppose… but usually we say ‘the horse is already out of the barn‘   After all, like cancer, the horse wants to leave the barn and run.  The toothpaste doesn’t want to leave the tube.  It will stay there forever until you squeeze it out.”

A look of understanding hit the intern’s face…. then puzzlement.

“But Dr. Fogelson, it seems like its a lot easier to put a horse back into the barn than it is to put toothpaste back into the tube.  If cancer was like the horse it would be much easier to cure once was spread.”

So there you have it.

Cancer acts like a horse at first, but then becomes toothpaste.